Blow man, blow!!
by Stupendo
Summary: I'm not giving you one because I am evil.
1. Dress and Drag

**Blow man, blow!!**

X woke up. He cringed when he noticed that Zero's bed was empty and the calendar had been thrown to the ground. Today was Zero's special day. The day when he did whatever he felt like. 

X groaned, pulling himself from bed. 

"Wondering what dress you'll be wearing this evening?" he grinned. 

Zero glared at him. "You're a real ass, you know that? In case you haven't noticed... I have certain needs too!" He stormed out of the room. 

"Did it ever occur to you that women's underwear is not on my list of things I enjoy seeing you in?" Megaman called out. 

Meanwhile in the kitchen, Zero was admiring his reflection in the toaster. "I guess I never really took the time to understand the positive effects of tapioca on my skin. It's so soft!... and smooth!" 

Megaman grumbled as he entered the room. 

"Here take this." Zero mumbled. 

"What is it?" Megaman looked down at the object in his hands. 

"Oh... that. It's a turkey baster." 

X smiled. 

Zero looked at him. "Why is it that were BOTH dressed in drag?" 

"I don't know," Megaman replied. "But this dress it too damn tight! I could barely get it on!" 

"Oh... this is all you're fault X. I should have just gone shopping and bought a crocodile purse! Maybe that Steve Irwin guy would have started chasing me and then I could afford my sex change operation." Zero sighed. 

Megaman was shoked into silence. 


	2. Steve Irwin Attacks

**Steve Irwin attacks!**

Zero ran frantically down the hall of the Hunter HQ. 

"Where is it? Where! I need it... yes, yes I do!" 

He gathered many stares from other hunters at the base, wondering why their great commander Zero, the mighty crimson hunter was teetering down the hall on heels in a white silk dress, his hair flowing behind him. They gasped again as X pranced about in a pink mini skirt and black low cut blouse. 

X fired a blast of flowers into the air. 

"Face the rath of my High Heels!" He growled as one bot laughed. He kicked out at the dumbfounded bot in front of him, but unfortunately he lost his balance and fell down on top of him instead. 

"Get off of me!" the bot cried as X started to lick his cheek. "Gaaah!" 

"Gag me!" Zero commented icily as he searched for the perfect leather purse. "It has to be here somewhere!" he exclaimed, placing his hands on his hips. 

Suddenly Steve Irwin tackled the dazed blonde robot. "I got him Hun, quick!" 

Zero let out a startled yelp as a woman with brown hair and beige khakis jumped on his head. 

"Oh wow! Would you look at this animal. It's just gorgeous. While Terr here holds down it's head, I'm gonna check if it's a boy or a girl by grabbing it firmly by the bum." 

"What??!!!" Zero screamed as Steve flipped him over. 

"Now then folks" Terr commented "If you want to bag a Zero or an X, you have to be carefull." 

X watched the scene before him with amusement. 

"Stop it!" Zero cried. "You're getting my brand new dress dirty!" 

"Yeah, stop it already." X smiled, leaning in close. "It's his birthday, and... I think I'm in love." He winked at Terri as Zero screamed and struggled. 

To be continued....? 


	3. Taming Of The Red Beast

** Taming of the red Beast**

  
  
  
  


X shrieked completely freaked out, when Terri suddenly jumped on his face. Binding his legs and hands together. "I got this one Steve how about you?"

"Aye, this one here's a boy... he's a big healthy one two,.. That blue one must be a female probably his mate...OW Crikey he bit me arm!!!!!"

Zero lunged at the khaki clad lunatic, intending to bite off his head.

Steve merely stepped to the side, grabbing Zero in a bear hug. As the Bot growled out many death threats.

"Oh wow, he's gorgeous , and just listen to him go, he's on a blue streak, wow.. he is not a happy camper not at all, I haven't even heard some of these words ...just look at his eyes.. wow not happy at all. Well tell you what he's pretty agitated so I think I'm going to set him back down there and he'll just scamper along off and. OWWW, OWWW .... Bloody hell, he kicked me in the crotch and just rammed some sort of sword right up my bum oww... right up there....., hell that smarts"

Zero got up and dashed a few feet before remembering X. "Come on X!!!!" He yanked his Blue buddy from Terri's grasp. "No let me stay with Terri, wait they didn't check to see if I was a boy or a girl yet!!"

"X, we know what you are!!!"

"Wait!!" Steve called out.

"For crying out loud !! He's still kicking " Zero yelled "Run X, Before they decide to play doctor"

Zero ran as fast as he could in his heels, dragging X behind him, who continued to scream

"Terri!" as they dashed in to the forest.

The two crocodile hunters chased after them, close on their heels!!!

  
  


To be continued..?


	4. Little Boy Blue don't blow my horn!!

Little Boy Blue don't blow my Horn!

  
  
  
  
  
  


"X quick run!" Zero screamed as he tore through the thick dense underbush. "Oh my dress is ruined. This is all your fault!!!"

"My fault!!" X yelled back "you're the one parading around like some kinda drunk circus freak!!"

"Oh " Zero sneered haughtily "And I suppose that matching purse and mini skirt of your qualifies you as normal!!!" 

X hissed jumping over a pile of branches "oooooo..you are such a a stupid, arrogant ...um.......Blonde bimbo !!!" 

"Oh yes reduced to name calling are we?" And of course you attack my blonde heritage !!! How dare you!!!!!"

Zero kicked the blue robot in the guts then turned to head the other way when a rope snared his leg and hauled him upside down. X turned as a battle cry erupted from the bush and a net was thrown on him. 

"Oh wow, we got em again. Now lets take a closer look at these fine specimen.

"Arrgghhh keep the crazy one away from my ass!!!" Zero screeched breaking free and cambering up the closest tree. Steve held X down firmly for examination. X gave a strangled cry, which turned into a steady and increasingly loud whine.

Terri began to comment to the camera about what significance his vocalization could have when the camera man suddenly disintegrated as the blue robots arm cannon went off.

"That was the sound of your death ha ha hee hee ho ho ho hum...yesssss. You will die ha ha yessss."

"Oh come on mate , I think I can handle a little fella' like you"

X tilted his cannon " There's a question ya gotta ask yerself. "" Do I feel lucky?"" he pointed the barrel at Steve's face "Well do ya?" 

  
  
  
  


End.. maybe.


	5. Run Run as fast as you can. you can't c...

Run Run As Fast As You Can. You Can't Catch Me! I'm The Crocodile Man !!

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Steve looked a the cannon barrel . "Alright Mate" he said getting up slowly. "I can see that your upset" he took a step backwards as X growled.

"Oh...your so sad.. what you need is a big hug from Steve!!" Terri beamed.

"Arrrghgghh!!" X freaked as Steve glomped on to him. he twisted attempting to blast the evil one.

"Oh take it east there little guy...you don't wanna do that" Steve tightened his grip around X's throat. With his free hand he began to pat the little blue robots head. "There now this will calm him down folks"

"......................" X began to whine uneasily.

"Easy little guy," Steve sat X down on the ground and drove into the hedge. "Well watch him form the cover of this hedge so , he won't notice us...and we won't bother him anymore.

As you can clearly see mates this blokes no match for a trained naturalist like myself. He is clearly distressed and he obviously doesn't know a thing about the bush, like I do"

"I know that your hiding behind one" X grinned.,as the bush disintegrated. 

Steve jumped away startled. He turned and ran "Well he seems to....to...have become somewhat hostile towards me...remember...these are wild animals... me and Terr are trained professionals... " X charged his cannon again.. " we wouldn't do anything stupid."

"It looks like a big blue pickle!!" Terri cried grabbing hold off X's arm cannon.

Zero growled jumping from his perch in the tree..... "Let go of that....you don't know what your doing...you could..eep.........too late!!!" 

Terri screamed as a bolt of energy flew past her and hit Steve in the rump.

"Aiiieeeeeeeee!!!!! That smarts!!!" Steve charged at the blue bot again, "Oh by crikey he's fast, Terr cut him off in the jeep."

  
  
  
  


Terri then watched as Steve ran away into the bush after the little blue bot. She turned to see Zero climbing down from his tree. 

"Don't be afraid little guy come here. Come here, come here , come here." she cooed.

"Drop dead, drop dead drop dead drop dead." Zero sneered back.

"Amazing ...your mimicking me"

"actually I'm mocking you"

Terri brought a hand up, with her index and middle fingers sticking up "It...it means peace little guy"

Zero watched unamused. 

"Ya really neat...hey I bet you know this one" he smirked giving her the bird.

Terri's eyes widened a bit.

"You can come down...your friend will be ok......

"more then we can say for yours..."

"He'll be fine, he was only chasing after your friend...who"

"who happens to have a fully charged plasma cannon, at his disposal. So unless the crocs your use to catching are using Tommy guns, I'd say You're a bit out gunned ."

"Oh no Steve!...I wonder where he is?"

"Well wherever he is he's probably a smoldering pile of mush by now....you'd better take a shovel"

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



End file.
